


Taking A Moment

by mansikka



Series: Filling In The Gaps [20]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 08:15:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: A brief interlude between By The Light Of Dawn and Mea Maxima Culpa





	Taking A Moment

"Hey," Alec says as Magnus comes to join him at the desk where he's finishing off yet another report.

"Hi. Are you almost finished?"

"For now," Alec says, going over a mental checklist of everything he's done, and all that is still left to do.

Normally, or at least before Magnus had come into his life, all Alec would have wanted to do was keep working. But things are different now, _he_ is different, and he needs to be away from here with Magnus for at least a few hours. Nothing is likely to change whether he's here in the Institute or not.

"So. Would you like to join me?" Magnus asks, and that there is anything but certainty in his question immediately has Alec on his feet.

"Yes," he says, walking around the desk and squeezing his hand. "I just wanna check on Izzy—"

"It might be best to leave her; at least for now," Magnus says, raising his hand to bat the suggestion away. "I gave her something to help her sleep. I don't know what good it's going to do, but if she's going to fight this… addiction, then it might be easier when she's at least rested."

Alec is torn between needing to see her anyway and wanting to let her rest. But his need to be gone from here and alone with Magnus rears up to drown out everything else. He needs to be selfish, to do what he wants for _him_ ; just for a little while.

"Ready when you are," he says with a small smile, picking up the report he's been working on. "Though just let me take this through to file."

They walk through the Institute together, an eerie calmness that speaks of those that are lost, and injured, and what so many of them have witnessed happen. Alec is hit again by the need to be away from everything, and pleads for no one to stop, or interrupt them as they try to leave.

Stepping through the portal into Magnus' apartment calms him, and Alec takes a couple of deep breaths, watching Magnus roll his neck and shoulders, thinking that he must be even more tired than him.

"Are you okay?" he asks, stepping closer and squeezing Magnus on the shoulder as he turns to look at him.

"Exhausted," he replies, turning and gripping Alec lightly around the waist.

There is a moment when they stare at one another, so many unspoken things between them that are demanding to be voiced. But only one thing in particular Alec is willing to let out.

"I meant it," he blurts out, forcing himself to keep eye contact, sweeping his hand up from Magnus' shoulder to cup his face. "What I said earlier. I meant it. I _do_ mean it—"

"I know you do—"

"I _love_ you, Magnus," he stutters out, crowding closer to him and gripping Magnus' hip to pull them flush together. "I do. I—I didn't just say it; I've been thinking it for days. And I know it's too soon—"

"I love you too," Magnus tells him with a gentle smile, leaning in for a soft kiss. "And it isn't too soon. Not if it's something we both feel."

"It's so much," Alec says, trembling for the enormity of his feelings. The thought of being without Magnus, or Magnus not being okay, is too much for him to deal with.

"It is," Magnus agrees, and when Alec looks at him he gets the impression that Magnus echoes his words, and fears, without having to say them out loud.

"I love you," he says again, feeling he could say it a hundred times over, allowing himself the beginnings of a smile.

Magnus cups his face, draws him into a kiss, sighing hard as they stumble into one another, apparently feeling just as desperate as Alec is to shut everything else out. Alec needs to be closer to him, wrapped around him here in Magnus' living room not close enough.

"Can we—"

Magnus tugs him by the hand apparently feeling that same need, the two of them stumbling through to his bedroom shedding clothes as they go.

"I need you," Alec says, the anguish at the thought of losing Magnus hitting him repeatedly in fresh waves, hearing the evidence of it when his voice cracks.

"You have me," Magnus assures him, holding Alec up as he shrugs out of the last of his clothes. Magnus backs him towards the bed using magic to pull back the sheets, easing Alec on to his back and settling between his legs instantly, both of them sighing in relief for the press of their skin together.

Alec sweeps his hands up Magnus' sides, parts his legs a little more to make them more comfortable, then surges up for a kiss, hands back down to grip his waist as he rolls his hips up to meet Magnus. Magnus kisses back with the same sense of need, his hand curling at the nape of Alec's neck as it so often does when they're together like this, braced on one arm as he adjusts on his knees.

Alec slots his fingers through the back of Magnus' hair resting his other hand on his lower back. He closes his eyes, losing himself in the feel of them beginning to stir together, stealing every moan from Magnus' mouth with a dart of his tongue. He _needs_ Magnus, the agony of not knowing if he was okay or not striking him hard once again, leaving him blasting out an unintended sob.

"It's okay, Alec," Magnus says, smiling as he pulls back enough to study his face.

" _Please_ ," Alec whispers back, not able to get his voice any louder, repeatedly shaking his head against the pillows as tears threaten to reveal him.

Magnus' look for him is gentle, and worried, and even, Alec thinks, a little in awe. That Magnus could doubt he would be so broken for losing him hits Alec hard again, and once more he's surging up for a deeper kiss, urging Magnus up just enough so he can get his hand around them both, and swallowing Magnus' answering moan.

He wants them to take longer, wants to stop time and take as long as they need. But the need he feels for Magnus is above anything else; Alec drags his feet up the bed so his knees splay a little wider, grips around Magnus' length and angles himself enough so that Magnus is pressing bluntly against his hole, rolling his hips up so there's no mistaking what he wants.

They've been taking their time with this, learning each other's bodies with unhurried care, but Alec's struck again with the sense that he _can't_ take any time with this. He smiles at Magnus' look of concern, surges up for another kiss, reaches out without breaking eye contact to open the drawer where Magnus has started leaving a bottle of lube for when he stays over—which currently, is more often than not.

"Can I stay?" Alec asks as he pulls the lube out and presses it into Magnus' thigh, watching as Magnus takes it from his fingers and kneels up, already popping the cap.

"I need you too much to let you leave," Magnus tells him with a soft smile that ripples for all that he is feeling.

Alec rocks his hips up in insinuation, and Magnus smiles a little easier for the gesture, leaning down to drape himself over Alec as he parts his cheeks. Alec bares down on the finger sliding into him, already wanting to be open, and ready for Magnus for how much he needs to feel him.

"Just a little patience," Magnus teases, kissing him in reward as he angles his finger deep inside Alec and he calls out for the feel ot it. Alec rolls his hips so Magnus can strike at him in the same spot again.

"I—"

"Just a little," Magnus repeats, working another finger into him and monitoring his expression, his eyes half-closing when he scissors them apart and Alec calls out for him again.

"I need you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Magnus tells him, leaning in for another kiss, moaning against his lips as Alec impales himself a little harder on his fingers. "There is no hurry—"

"There is," Alec replies, though now, he can laugh a little at his urgency; even if that laughter is short-lived for the feel of Magnus' fingers easing him open, teasing at his prostate, with constant praise for how he looks and how he's going to feel when Magnus is in him.

Alec holds on to his hips as Magnus slots between his legs, unable to snatch his eyes away as Magnus leans to slide them together. He's riveted as Magnus slicks himself up a little, holds his breath as Magnus holds him open, and doesn't stop looking when he begins to sink into him. It's when he's fully seated and Alec is clenching around him that he lets out a sigh of relief he can't pretend he wasn't aware of holding, cradling Magnus to him when he topples forward and lands in his neck.

There is peace between them, no movement as they hold on to one another, as close as it's possible to get. Alec listens to Magnus breathing, feels his heart racing against his skin, smiles at the kisses pressed up the length of his neck as he spreads wide, greedy hands down his back needing to touch all of Magnus at once.

Magnus kisses a path to his mouth, blasting out a sigh against him, adjusting a little on his knees so he can brace on one arm, fingers up and toying with Alec's hair. "That's better."

"It is," Alec agrees, arching beneath him, sinking back into the pillows in further relief as Magnus begins to move.

Everything is gentle, and slow between them, with Alec reaching up to pull on Magnus' wrist so he can slot their fingers together and hold his hand. There are soft kisses as they find an unhurried rhythm between them, with neither of them able to snatch their eyes away.

This. This is everything Alec never knew he could have in his life. It isn't just the physical intimacy, or how good it feels to have Magnus in him, but it's that _sharing_ of something with someone that he didn't know he needed until now. That he can speak to Magnus without saying a single word, know what he's thinking just from the slightest shift of expression, and sense where and what feels good to him without even having to ask; it's everything to Alec. And that Magnus feels so much, and so deeply, in what Alec is sure to other people won't feel like any stretch of time at all, just reinforces the idea that there is more to his life than just _serving_ ; even though that was a truth he'd hid behind for the longest time.

"You're thinking too hard," Magnus teases, stretching up to kiss his forehead before nuzzling against his cheek.

Alec angles his hips up encouraging Magnus into him deeper, but doesn't say a thing, just sweeps his hand down Magnus' back and angles up for another kiss.


End file.
